THE MOST
LOVED PRODUCTION COMPANY ON THE PLANET presents
a LEVITICUS
production
a Levi
Timothy Craig film
LEVI WARS
EPISODE LLLLLXI:
The Fourth Wall
STARRING
Leviticus as
himself
Chad Evans
as Emperor God
Lexi as
Darth Emperor’s Bitch
A Really Short Person as R2Mr.D2
Casting
Director: Random Homeless Dude
Music
Composer: Some guy who smells bad
Costume
Designer: Kennedy Street’s Cousin’s, Brother’s, Best Friend’s Roomate
Associate
Producers: Some guy from Canada
Editors: You
Production
Designer: Jason Helms in a Bear Costume
Director of
Photography: That Guy Who Got Arrested For Stalking Last Week
Executive
Producer: The Green Ranger
Producer: Yo
Momma
Writers:
Roger Goodell
Director:
Not Me
Our hero, The Most Loved Jedi In The Galaxy, is walking around the set of the film...oh wait, we're supposed to pretend this is real...crap...uh, our hero is walking around the planetary killing machine space station known as The SCW Star. He is not alone! He is accompanied by his trusty robot friend, R2Mr.D2
Leviticus: I sense a strange disturbance in the force!
R2Mr.D2: BEEP! BEEP! BOOP! BEEP!
Leviticus: No, I...well,I suppose it could be that burrito I ate...
He stops to sniff the air for a moment and nods his head.
Leviticus: Yeah, it was the burrito I ate. No disturbance in the force here.
R2Mr.D2: BOOP! BOOP! BEEP! BEEP!
Leviticus: It doesn't smell THAT bad! Now let's go! We have to find Emperor God and Darth Emperor's Bitch before they steal The SCW Adrenaline Championship!
R2Mr.D2: BEEP! BOOP!
Leviticus: Shut your mouth, R2Mr.D2!
The two begin to walk further down the corridor. Suddenly they are confronted by a horde of storm troopers! All of these storm troopers have the initials "SCW" written on the back of their armor. The lead trooper steps up.
Lead Trooper: STOP!
Another trooper stands next to him.
Trooper 1: Like, yeah, you need to totally stop and stuff, because, like you don't need to be here. In fact, I don't, like want to be here, either. As if!
Lead Trooper: You need to go back! Go away! You can't have that SCW Adrenaline Championship!
Leviticus: And why not?
Lead Trooper: Because I need it to buy Cassidy new shoes...uh...I mean, um...I need to buy myself new armor! Yeah!
Trooper 1: I, like, look totally hot in my armor! As if!
Leviticus: Hey, you wouldn't happen to be Ace Marshall, would you?
Trooper 1: Like, he totally is! And I'm, totally, Maddi Cha...
The Lead Trooper holds a gloved hand over the other trooper's mouth.
Lead Trooper: Hush! Don't listen to her, she's drunk.
Leviticus waves a hand over their eyes.
Leviticus: You will let us move along.
Lead Trooper: Like hell I will!
R2Mr.D2: BOOP! BOOP! BEEP! BOOP! BEEP!
Leviticus: Shut up, R2Mr.D2! I am not an idiot!
He looks up at the Lead Trooper.
Leviticus: Uh...why don't we trade you? My little insignificant friend here has some great new SCW Merchandise!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus a Marcus Briggs "NOPE" t-shirt.
Leviticus: Like this "NOPE" t-shirt!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus an oddly shaped object...
Levitiucs: A 3d Printed replica of Eyoshi's Ass!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus a dilldo.
Leviticus: A Manvel Dildo that is ALWAYS Lubed!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus a box of baby wipes.
Leviticus: Amy Chastaine Endorsed BABY WIPES!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus another box...a computer more like it...
Levitiucs: The Bree Lancastar Fake Outrage Machine!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus a snowglobe.
Leviticus: The Giovanni Aries Wonderland Snowglobe!
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus a wig.
Leviticus: The Selena Frost Hair Wig for when Regan Street fucks you up! And speaking of Regan...
R2Mr.D2 hands Leviticus a bag.
Leviticus: Regan Street Kitty Litter!
R2Mr.D2: BEEP! BEEP! BEEEP!
Leviticus: What? I didn't forget anything did I?
R2Mr.D2 suddenly sprays Leviticus with a white liquid.
Leviticus: Oh...yeah...Cookie's Milk.
The Lead Trooper shakes his head.
Lead Trooper: I shouldn't but....you know....that milk looks kinda tasty...
Leviticus: WHAT?!
Lead Trooper: Yeah, if that robot thingy stays behind and gives us another sample, we'll let you pass.
Leviticus: DEAL!
R2Mr.D2: BEEP! BOOP!
Leviticus: Sorry, pal!
Leviticus rushes off, past the storm troopers, and further down the corridor. Eventually he reaches a door which eventually opens. Sitting there in a chair is a very poor-ass attempt at a Chad Evans impersonator with a cloak on.
Leviticus: Emperor God, I presume.
Emperor God: What's it to you?
Leviticus: I want that Adrenaline Championship! Now!
Before Emperor God can answer there's some heavy breathing. Leviticus notices a female walking out of the shadows. This is also a very poor impersonation, this time of Lexi, wearing a black cape.
Leviticus: Darth Lexi?
Darth Emperor's Bitch: NO! Darth Emperor's Bitch!
TO BE CONTINUED!
In the next episode, these questions will be answered:
Will Mr. D change his mind and bring back The Women's Title?
Will People Buy The Brand New Samantha Raine Shampoo and Body Wash?
Will Anyone Remember Where Leviticus Left The Key That Lets That Short Guy Out of the R2Mr.D2 Costume?
Will Maddi Chase complete a sentence without the word "like" in it?
Did the "Bring Trinity Street Back To SCW" Petition gain enough signatures and would Mr. D even give a damn anyway?
Does Jason Helms have any plans to dress up as any other wildlife?